Friday, February 6, 2015

My New Normal

For the first time in several months, I'm writing a post the day that it's going live. I really enjoy having my blog posts scheduled in advance so I can just sit back and reply to comments. Such is not the case today. It probably won't be for a little while.

Welcome to my new normal.
the mug says it all...
Have y'all ever had a moment in your life that completely jolts you, shakes your core, and makes you change your entire way of living? No? Well... allow me to be the first to say it SUCKS. It really sucks. My moment was the entire month of January. 

A lot of y'all know what happened, and there's a LOT of y'all that don't. For the sake of this post my sanity I'm not going into details. I'm still not sure if I ever will. But that's the beauty of this space being mine. I can talk about whatever the heck I want to. Just know, that I am OK and I really appreciate everyones' thoughts and prayers for me and my family. 

What I can (and will) say is this: I was not at home the entire month of January. This forced Josh to be the father that I've honestly never seen him be before. He gave the kids baths, he fixed dinners (the dinners may have been nuggets w/ mac n cheese, but it was dinner), and he did school runs. Josh really stepped up and only made me love him more. I'm really proud to call him my husband. My entire family is proud of him. Something that none of them have ever said before. Ever. I really do have an amazing husband, y'all.
Sure, he could've done all those things before, but let's be honest: I've spoiled the whole family and really taken care of everyone. I've always been the one to make dinners, give baths, and tuck everyone in. I never asked for help. I may have wanted it some nights, but those nights Josh was just as tired. We've both always worked full time. 

Until now.

I'm not working full time. I've even changed my sidebar bio. (Amanda, I didn't even need to ask for help!) My new normal has become the stay at home mom. I'm going to be honest, y'all; I'm still not used to it. This entire week, I've cleaned the whole house from floor to ceiling. I've done countless loads of laundry. You could eat off of my bathroom floor. Ainsley picks up her toys when she's done playing with them. It's really great. 
But. 
Yes, but... 
It's strange to me. I've always had a full time job. If I lost a job, it's never taken me long to find a new one. My close friends know this about me. However, when I came back home on Feb 1st, I made the decision to not go back to work. It wasn't an easy decision and I spent all of January thinking about it. It is, however the best decision for our family at this time. I need to be home. I need to be with my kids. Ainsley has me all day, and Zander is home by 3:30 from school. We've all needed this time together.

It's still going to take some adjusting on my part though. 

I've texted a few lovely ladies from my tribe this week, and the one thing I've noticed to be consistent in my conversations is that the quiet is strange to me while Ainsley naps. I've always been around some sort of noise. My time away from the house was spent in a very noisy atmosphere. Previous jobs have always been noisy.
While Ainsley is awake, we talk and play. Theres music, T.V., etc. When she naps I keep the T.V. on or listen to music, but I'm glad when I have someone to talk to. I'm still not used to the quiet. It's definitely an adjustment.

This is my new normal. Stay at home mom. Housewife. Whatever you want to call it. This is me.

I'm not regretting my decision in the slightest, I'm simply confessing that I'm adjusting. Eventually I'll get back into the swing of things in blog land. I plan on going back to doing link ups. I still have my sponsor page up and running. I haven't been promoting anything because I'm not quite ready yet. But I am back. I will be blogging at least 3 times a week again. The blogs I sponsor will have content to promote... that much I can promise. I love every one of my readers, and I'm happy to start to get back into the swing of things.

I must confess though, that during my adjustment period - however long that may be - your continued thoughts and prayers are appreciated. I'm very blessed that I'm surrounded by such amazing friends and family. Y'all have been amazing. So thank you. Thank you for everything. 
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