Reboot

Do you ever feel like sometimes in life, you just want to CTRL, ALT, DEL everything? Like you feel like you keep getting knocked down, and can't catch your breath? You're stuck under a tidal wave and keep getting pushed to the ocean floor? Ok. You get the idea. This entire year has kind of felt like that for me. I felt like I couldn't recover. And then, an unexpected reboot (of sorts) happened.

I don't imagine many people will be reading this. I've taken an unplanned blogging break for the past two months. I kind of wanted to keep this private, but at the same time, I realize the support of the blogging community is unlike any other. So. *deep breaths*

I never planned on this happening. Like. I almost can't bring myself to type these words. But. It's reality.

I have filed for divorce.

I kind of feel like this whole year has been a build up to it. I'm not telling everyone for pity. I'm not bragging. I don't want any sympathy. The fact of the matter is, there was no turning back from this.
I know what some of y'all might be thinking, "there's always a way". Believe me. I have expressed all options. I've tried to fix this. There comes a point where if you're the only one trying and fighting, you start to realize "what's the point".

I'm not trying to justify anything. This is kind of a blanket "hey, this is what's going on in my life!" This year has been full of ups and downs.
Of course, this also means that I AM trying to find a job.

So the title for this post is the only way I can really sum up my life right now. I'm going through a reboot. I'm figuring out how to be a <single> mom. Figuring out how to live alone. We are separated. I've never actually lived alone, so this is a new thing for me. It's new for the kids. It's just a process.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm not pulling away from y'all on purpose. I'm trying to really figure out who I am. What I like. I've lived with my parents my whole life and then went from that to immediately living with Josh. Bear with me through this process, y'all. I promise I'm not going off the grid like I did in January. And I promise I'm trying to get better at blogging. This includes getting back to reading and commenting regularly. Even if I don't post anything.

I love you all. I love my tribe. Thank you all for the support.