An Open Letter about Parenting.

Dear Concerned Neighbor,

I get that you have children of your own, and that makes you feel like you know everything there is to know about raising kids but you just don't. There's something you should know about kids: they're all different. Which means they learn and grow differently.

Oh, your son and daughter can both read? That's cool! Good for them! Just because they can read doesn't mean I'm going to force it upon my son to read. Yes, my son did just turn 5 and your youngest is just 4 months older than Zander. Obviously both of your kids wanted to read. Zander has an interest in letters and numbers, but I'm not going to force something on him that he's not interested in; or that he's not ready to learn.
I get that he's going to kindergarten in August. I'm very excited about it. He's very smart and I know he'll do well. Him going to school does not mean he has to learn how to read by a certain age. I want him to want to learn so that when he does read, he loves it. He already loves books and I want him to keep loving them as much as I do. Ok? Thanks,

Wait, you say your six your old has been riding a bike without training wheels for a year now? Good for him, I bet he's so proud of himself! When did he start riding his bike with training wheels? Oh, at 2 years old. That's so cool! Well, Zander didn't start riding until he was 4. So, like the reading issue I didn't force him. I'm glad I didn't. He asked me to take his  training wheels off. He was obviously ready because after I took them off, it literally only took 10 minutes of me helping before he mastered it. That's the beauty of waiting. Patience is a virtue and it pays off in the best of ways.

For all other issues you have with the way I parent, you can kindly keep them to yourself. I don't want to hear them, and they will most likely be met in the same fashion as this. I'm going to let my kids be kids. I'm going to let them play outside, dig in the dirt, ride their bikes, do whatever they want to do to have fun! I will take them to the doctor as needed. I will make sure they stay healthy. I will also make sure they stay happy. I'm their mom, so I get the right to raise them as I see fit. I have some issues with the way you parent as well. We'll just leave it as that.

Thank you for your time and understanding.
Sincerely,
An annoyed mom.

Is There A Perfect Mama?

I'm happy to annouce something new around here for Wednesdays. Don't worry, Anne, I still absolutely love your Wednesday Wishes link-up, and I still fully intend to participate! As a mama though, I had to come sit at the cool kids table for this link-up. Hosted by Christine, Ashley, and, Brittany: The Mama Tells All link-up!

We're going to tackle this week's topic - (September 10 - What's Your Vision of The Perfect Mama? Who best emulates this vision for you? How are you succeeding to fulfill your vision?) - in the form of an interview.

My vision of a perfect mama?
Honestly, a mama that's just being herself. I think a perfect mama is one that's not actively trying to be perfect. One that's doing her best to take care of her family, and putting the interest of her children before her own. This mama doesn't know that she's perfect, in fact: she's the one that worries about every little thing. She's definitely not Mary Poppins / "practically perfect in every way". I think "perfectly imperfect" is a great way to describe her. Oh, and she's not afraid to cry... in the bathroom... with a bar of chocolate. 

Allow me to be totally cliche for a moment now. The one person to emulate the vision of a perfect mama would be my own mother. No kidding, y'all this woman is a saint. She's been through so much: periods of unemployment, three husbands, four (unruly) children *the youngest of her four is NINE!!!* , and now she's in the process of buying a house, but she never let my sister and I know how badly she was struggling until we were adults. She's never been afraid to tell my sister or me about her crazy teenage years. I know it broke her heart when my sister and I wanted to live with our dad instead of her after they were divorced, but she never showed how much it hurt. She's seriously the best mother, grandmother, friend, sister, aunt anyone could ask for. She spoils my kids rotten without them knowing that they're getting spoiled.

This is from when my mom held Ainsley for the first time.

How am I succeeding to fulfill my vision?
Gosh, talk about a loaded question. Well, let's just say if my kids hate me in their teens as much as I hated my mom when I was a teenager, then I would say I'm doing a damn good job as a mama. As of in this very moment, it's very hard for me to say. If we're being honest (and we are because that's what do here). I would say that I feel like I'm doing a miserable job. I feel like the only time I really feel like a good mama is when we're out in public and my kids are perfect angels! I know for a fact if you were to ask my husband, he would tell you that I do a wonderful job, but most days I feel like a complete failure. I guess I'm on the right track to my vision.

Because I love Anne so much, I do want to throw a few wishes into the universe interwebs. I wish every mother out there the ability to be a perfectly imperfect mama. I wish you all enough patience and love to not strangle your children when they're being bad, and just enough of a temper to punish them fairly. #toughlove.

To all of the mommies out there, what's your vision of a perfect mama? 



Why Am I So Tired?

My husband asked me this the other day, "Why are you so tired all the time lately?" My knee jerk response was "work is just wearing me out". He was mostly asking for concern because when I take my glasses off at night to go to bed, I have huge, noticable, dark circles under my eyes. Like almost to the point where it looks like I've been beaten!

After I had answered though, it got me thinking. Is that really the entire reason why I'm so tired? The answer is no. No, it is not the whole reason. I didn't tell him then because we were going to bed and all of this was swimming through my mind. I already have a habit of telling him about my day as we lay down and he's trying to go to sleep, so I didn't want to spew more information than was needed.

Well, ladies (and gents if you're out there reading this)... it all boils down to one cold hard truth of being a Mom. I don't take enough time for myself! there. I said it. I know it's the trugh. I'm guilty. Just like every other mom out there. (WHY do we do this to ourselves?!)

My day looks a little like this:

• +Wake up around 6:15-6:30. Get ready for work.
• +Wake the kids up at 7:00 AM and get them ready for the day.
  (all of the above includes brushing teeth, getting dressed, etc). The kids eat breakfast at either school/the baby sitter's so I'm usually left without a breakfast. But that will all change thanks to Meagan! and this amazing recipe here that I have to try!
  
• +7:20 take the kids to the baby sitter
• +7:25 I leave for work.
• +Work from 7:45 - 4:45 with only a 30 minute lunch somewhere in there, and lunch is usually spent rushing to eat because I've been on the phone with Josh
• +5:05 arrive home. Give the kids an afternoon snack and play with them for about an hour or so.
• +6:15 start prepping dinner
• +6:30- 7 PM cooking, Zander sets the table, etc
• +7:05 Josh comes home, and we eat.
• +After dinner we start prepping the kids for bed time. This includes baths/ showers, reading books, giving good night kisses, and getting tucked in bed by 8:00
• +Kids are in bed: I do the dishes, clean up, take a shower and finally sit down to watch like an hour of TV with Josh before we go to bed.

Don't get me wrong, Josh does help when I ask for it but mostly I forget to ask. By the time I sit down to watch TV I remember I haven't worked out, I haven't painted my toe nails (like I keep saying I need to do), I haven't folded or put away laundry from Sunday, and the cat still needs water.

Also, I haven't had a haircut in months. That's right, y'all... months. Most of this has to do with the fact that I'm terrified to let someone new cut my hair, but it's also because when it comes to the weekends when technically I should have free time to get my hair cut... I just don't. I come up with something that has to be done around the house, or something to do with the kids. It makes me feel a little better that I'm not alone in lacking of hair cuts (Thanks, Kasey)

I feel like I've gotten off track. Another issue from lack of sleep: my mind is wandering to a million and one different topics. Why are we here today? Sleep, Melissa... Sleep lack thereof.

So it's Monday, and in the spirit of linking up with Emily for Grateful Heart Monday's, I'm just going to throw it out into the world and say that even though I am extrondinarily tried, and I have too much going on, I'm grateful that 9 times out of 10 I don't let it show. I'm also grateful for makeup to make me look less tired zombie-like. I'm especially grateful that I have this blog and I can post silly thoughts like this! 

Mom Confessions and Mom Wishes

Morning, Y'all. Today I'm following in Meagan's footsteps and sharing some confessions. The ones she shared here were amazing, and so very true for probably a lot of moms out there.

I confess that... 

+ I still let Ainsley take a pacifier to bed. She's 18 (almost 19 months) and only uses it for nighttime. I would've been the same way with Zander but he got rid of his on his own. NO! I do not allow her to keep one with her throughout the day, it's just at bedtime. Yes, the doctors have said to get rid of it (thanks, Josh for actually telling the doctor), but in my opinion: it's not keeping her from talking, it's not hurting anyone, and it helps her get to sleep without difficulty. 

+ I sneak veggies in foods. Both kids are on a "non-veggie kick" so I have to sneak veggies into things like meatloaf and smoothies. 

+ I get way too frustrated lately that Ainsley is in a toddler bed and she insists on trying to come into the living room instead of sleeping. 

+ I try so hard not to talk about myself badly because I don't want my kids to think anything other than they're beautiful, talented, amazing, and creative. 

Source

+ I breastfed Ainsley, but didn't breastfeed Zander. Also, with Ainsley I was not shy about it at all. I was the obnoxious mom that would whip out a boob in public and feed her in Target if she was hungry. I was not the least bit shy about it, and I'm not the least bit guilty that one baby was a bottle baby and the other wasn't. 

+ I refuse to get on the cloth diaper train. I already do enough laundry (and even that doesn't get folded weekly). I'm not adding more to the mix! 

+ I have dishes in my sink from Monday's dinner. I know I need to wash them, but playing with my kids lately has been way more important. 

+ I haven't shaved my legs in over a week. Yep, #hairy. I don't care though because it's almost cool weather and I can't even wear dresses to work anymore anyways because I work in a glue factory. 

+ Zander went with me to my 6 week post natal check up after I had Ainsley, and yes he saw everything. Ever since then he's known girls have a vagina and boys have a penis, and we don't have silly names for them (like hoo-hoo dilly's). We tell it like it is in our house. Penis and Vagina aren't bad words, and kids need to know they're OK to talk about. (favorite post here) <- seriously, y'all go read this.

I have so much more,  but it could go on for way too long if I continue, so we'll leave you with this:

In the spirit of Wednesdays and confessionals, on Wednesdays we make wishes as well.

My wish is that society quits giving moms such a hard time for parenting the way that they want to.

Moms know their kids better than anyone. They know their quirks, personalities, etc. I wish more moms would realize just how truly special their kids really are. Don't worry so much about if you're doing a good job or not; you ARE! Happy Wednesday, y'all. If you're one of my fellow Mama Bloggers, you're awesome and don't let anyone tell you differently! But please share you're confessions, because these are hilarious.

This link we're linking up with Anne and Vodka & Soda. Because, who doesn't love to switch things up?

                     

                                        

A Letter to New Moms

We're not going to sugar coat anything here, y'all. Being a mom is hard. Hell, being pregnant is hard! Just ask Ashley... she's pregnant with number two right now! I'd like to take a moment to address new moms.



Source

Dear New Mom, or Mom-to-Be,

Stop reading the books. I promise, you're not going to follow any of the advice in them. I read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" cover to cover, and let me tell y'all something: don't. Just don't read it. It will have you worrying way too much about the stupidest shit. Pardon the language, but it's true. Just because your feet are swollen to the size of watermelons that could win a prize at a state fair, doesn't mean you've got a horrible pregnancy disease! It usually means you just have to sit down and rest.

Don't swear off certain baby products. Before I had kids I was the lady to say things like "I'll never use pacifiers" or "I won't use generic brand". I lied. Both of my kids had pacifiers, and yes I use generic brand. In fact, I absolutely swear by the Wal-Mart brand parent's choice diapers. I promise you, what works for me may not work for you, so don't assume what works for your best friend's cousin twice removed will work for you either. Everyone parents differently so please don't feel pressured to use the fancy bottles because your neighbor "swore by them... OMG!", but don't swear them off either.

You don't need a million towels or washcloths. I'm sorry to burst your little bubble as you're standing in the baby aisle at target, gushing over just how cute your little one will look wrapped up in that monkey towel, but you really don't need it. Don't get me wrong, you will need a few, but when you're child is 18 months old and you realize you have 8 towels and 25 washcloths, but you only use THREE... yeah, it's too much.

Second hand stores ARE OKAY! Trust me on this one. The bedding set, the clothes, the strollers... all of these are perfectly fine to get from a thrift shop or consignment store. Hell, even a yard sale. Babies are expensive. You have diapers, wipes, etc. You don't need to spend a fortune just because the crib bumpers were featured in some fancy magazine. I do, however, suggest buying the crib and mattress new.

You will pee on yourself. It's going to happen. It might be from sneezing, laughing, throwing up, etc. Just clean yourself up and carry on.



Source

Don't stress if you're doing the right thing or not. I know, easier said than done. I still stress about it, but I promise you are doing the right thing. Don't feel pressure to breast feed if you don't want to.
YOU are the mommy. You get to call the shots. You are amazing, and you a wonderful. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Especially the doctors.

Also, if you're not a mom and you're reading this don't let anyone tell you that you have to have kids to be happy. My best friend Amanda said it best here.