My Best Friend is the Father of my Kids

OMG, y'all do you know we're in the 5th week of Mamas Tell All? I feel like time is flying! I've been having so much fun getting to know other moms in the blog world with this linkup.

This week, we're bragging on our dudes a little bit. Talking about the Man Behind the Mama.

That Southern Mama//Everyday Thoughts//The So-Called Homemaker//The Rambling Llama

I feel like I've bragged on Josh quite a bit since my return to the blogging world in February. But I have every reason to. He's an amazing father and a wonderful husband. I thought because I'm sure y'all are sick of the "I'm so grateful" stuff from me I would take this a different direction and share how Josh and I actually met.

Josh and I in 2006

It was in 2006. I had quite literally just graduated high school, and really not looking for a boyfriend. Amanda can testify to the fact that I had a horrible ex. So realistically I definitely didn't need to be looking for a boyfriend even if I wanted one!

After work (at Kroger) one night, another co-worker had asked if I could take him somewhere for his birthday. He had lost his driver's license and some of his friends were throwing him a party. I thought, "why the hell not?" I didn't have anything better to do that night and now that I was 18, my mom was more forgiving if I stayed out super late. So I took him. We got there first and a group of 4 other people showed up a little later. I literally only knew the birthday boy, but it wasn't a problem for me because I can make friends with a wall.

Did I mention the birthday party was at a karaoke bar?

Yeah... I totally sang Joe Jackson's Is She Really Going Out With Him? in front of the man that would eventually be my husband. Sober mind you. I was 18 after all. It was also horrible. As someone that spent her entire life in chorus, this was by far my worst performance. I wasn't nervous or anything, I just didn't see the words moving on the screen and the song was too quiet behind me. Josh of course still laughs about this incident to this day!

The night went on with one of the guys I had never met before trying to hit on me. I completely ignored him. He's one of those guys that you can tell he's trying too hard. Not attractive. Josh on the other hand was quietly sitting in the corner. Those that know him know this isn't surprising. He was just smiling and taking it all in. Only talking when spoken to. Honestly, he and I didn't really talk at all that night. I think he was mostly laughing at the guy that was trying too hard.

After that night, we actually started chatting on MySpace. Yes. That's right, I said MySpace. I was the first to ask for his number.
The rest, as they say, is history. He actually had a girlfriend at the time and left her to be with me. I win. Now we have two beautiful children and have been happily married since 2008.

Josh and I 2015... being extremely goofy!

Tell us about your man! Husband, boyfriend, whatever! Link up with the rest of the awesome mamas below!
Next week:
May 6: Fighting the Green-Eyed Monster - talking about how all mamas sometimes get jealous of others 

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Good-Bye Diapers, Hello Savings!

If you were to interview 100 moms randomly on the street and ask them all, "what's the biggest expense you have when it comes to your children?", I would bet the majority would say, "Diapers". It's no secret, even if you're using cloth diapers there's an upfront cost of getting what you need in order to "cloth". Ashley and I briefly touched on diapers a few weeks ago. This week however, we're talking ditching the diaper!

This is probably one of the happiest and most stressful time in a mom's life. Potty training. It's no secret. No child is the same which of course means no child will catch on to potty training the same. All you can do is "go with the flow". Ha. See what I did there? Too Much? OK... moving on.

We're actually in this stage of life with Ainsley, the youngest of my two. And let me tell y'all something. This is tough. It had been three years since we went through this with Zander. I had forgotten about accidents and messes, and barely making it to the toilet. We're kind of using the same methods we did with Zander though and from what I can tell they seem to be working.

Here's what we do:

Set a "Potty Timer".
For us, this is just the timer on the stove. Huggies and Pull Ups sells a stop watch branded as a potty timer, but your timer on the stove or microwave works just as well.
It starts from the time we wake up. Mostly Ainsley wakes up before me. As soon as I know she's awake, I have to get up. I immediately take her to the bathroom first thing in the morning. If she goes, I set the timer for 30 minutes. If she doesn't, she gets 15 minutes. This pattern continues throughout the day. If she has more water than normal, the timer is set for shorter amounts of time.
The timer is mostly for me. Ainsley is at the age where she won't tell me if she has to go or not. She still hasn't grasped that sensation. She knows if she has peed (or pooped) after the fact. Telling me she needs to go will probably come within 6 months to a year. I'm ok with that. We're on the right track.

Don't use diapers or pull ups.
Y'all, these are just a crutch. Buy your kids underwear! YES, you will have to do more laundry because, yes, accidents will happen. However, using big kid underwear that fits your kids properly will help them realize when they are wet. I'm not gonna lie, cleaning up "number two" accidents are no fun and require some soaking to prevent stains, but I don't throw out the underwear just because she's pooped in them.
The only time we use pull ups is at nap time and bed time. Ainsley doesn't always wake up "dry", so using the pull ups when she sleeps prevents having to change her sheets in the middle of the night.

We DON'T use stickers or treats. 
That's just us though. When teaching Zander and now while teaching Ainsley we don't reward successful potty visits with treats or sticker charts. We do make sure the kids know how proud we are of them. We sing songs, do fun dances, and give high fives all around. This isn't to say that treats and prizes won't be right for you and your kids. Remember? Every kid is different. Your kid might be happier knowing they get a sticker if they use the potty. For us though, it just didn't make sense. Everyone pees anyway right? I don't get a sticker every time I go.

I gave up on the training toilet. 
Y'all, with Zander we bought one of those mini training toilets that sits on the floor, you know? The ones with the bucket they pee and poop in and you still have to dispose of it? Yeah. Gross. Ours comes in three stages. It's the gross bucket thing. Then the seat comes off and attaches to your toilet. It's also a step stool. I gave up on the bucket thing before even using it. I took the seat off, attached it to the toilet and let both kids use the grown up toilet with the seat so they don't fall in. That way, the step stool is used to wash hands after. Boom! It works and you just flush the mess away without cleaning anything else. No need to add extra work, moms. Right? Right!

Ainsley gets really excited when she successfully uses the potty. She knows it makes mommy and daddy happy, and I swear this kid lives for high fives. Any chance to get and give them she's all about that life! She also feels the need to visit me while I'm in the bathroom, so when I go I always get a, "Good job, Mommy! Way to go! High fives!" She cracks me up. So basically, just do what works for your family. Hopefully the tips and tricks from Mamas Tell All will help you! Even if you don't have kids yet!

What did you do to survive the potty training experience?
Link up with us and share! 

That Southern Mama//Everyday Thoughts//The So-Called Homemaker//The Rambling Llama

Next week on Mamas Tell All: brag on your man!
April 29: The Man Behind the Mama – talking about husbands, boyfriends, etc. 

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Kids Say the Darndest Things

Kids are funny. They're very much like sponges and absorb everything around them. This includes things grown ups say around them on a day to day basis. Kids also don't have a filter, so sometimes they might repeat something adults might not want them to.

Mamas Tell all || Week 3 

That Southern Mama//Everyday Thoughts//The So-Called Homemaker//The Rambling Llama

So this week, we're taking it back to Bill Cosby days before all of this controversy. I have a feeling some of the posts linked up this week would have been excellent material for the original show!

I had to tweet this one from Zander a few weeks ago. It was too adorable not to share. And how insightful, right?

words of wisdom from Zander: "sometimes if you don't know how to do something you just have to keep trying. then you can do it!" I love him!
— Melissa Louise (@RamblingLlama) April 10, 2015

Sometimes Ainsley will still come cuddle with me and Josh. When she does, I'll ask her, "Ainsley, are you Mommy's girl?" This almost always get's a firm "No Mommy!" with an adorable laugh. So Josh will come back with, "Well, are you Daddy's girl then?" More laughter and, "No Daddy!". So one of us will ask, "Who's girl are you then?" I'm Ainsley's girl!". So there y'all have it... my two year old daughter has decided that she's her own girl.
Proof on YouTube.
Ainsley is also very sassy and insists that she's  mini mommy. While Zander and I were throwing the frisbee, it hit him in the neck. (He was OK, but said ouch initially). Ainsley came running from the bottom of the driveway.

Ainsley: What happened Zander? (when he didn't answer her, she turned to me)
What happened, Mommy?
Me: I accidently hit Zander with the frisbee.
Zander: yeah, but I'm OK.
Ainsley: *looks at me, with her hands on her hips* No, Sir Mommy! No, Sir! We don't hit people! No, Sir Mommy!
Zander and I die with laughter.

Any of Zander's words of wisdom crack me up. For example: "Actually Mommy drinking yogurt isn't really food. It's more like a drink. Food is something like a pop tart. And that's what I want for snack today."

What funny things do your kids say? Link up with us and share!
And in case you missed it, here's the upcoming topics for the Mamas Tell All Linkup!

April 22: Saying Goodbye to Diapers – tips and tricks or just stories about the potty-training process
April 29: The Man Behind the Mama – talking about husbands, boyfriends, etc. 
May 6: Fighting the Green-Eyed Monster - talking about how all mamas sometimes get jealous of others 
May 13: Dating my Daughter/Son – spending special time on “dates” with our kids 
May 20: Last Year We Bought a Zoo (or Not) – a discussion on pets in the family - do you have any? why or why not?

Be sure to grab the button and link up with us! 

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To Spank or Not To Spank?

Being a mom is seriously a hard job, y'all. You have a million jobs rolled into one. You're the teacher, the boo-boo kisser, the tea party hostess, knight in shining armor, and hero. But sometimes you have to take on the roll no mom likes. The disciplinarian. I've said it before there's no rules or guidelines about parenting. So how do you know what's the right punishment for your child?

Week Two || Mamas Tell All 

That Southern Mama//Everyday ThoughtsThe So-Called Homemaker//The Rambling Llama

Discipline and punishments are seriously a touchy subject all around. It's really a matter of preference and what works best for your family. I'm glad this was one of the topics for our linkup because I'm very curious what moms with older kids will have to say!

I think it's important to keep in mind, if you have more than one kid, that one form of punishment might not be as effective for all kids. This especially holds true for us. Additionally, What works for you and your family will probably not work for us.

When Zander was born five years ago, my husband and I, like most new parents were clueless about how we would raise Zander. Sure we had a few basic ideas and we knew we didn't want him (or any future kids) to be spoiled brats. I'll be honest though... our only experience in seeing a parent discipline their child was watching my brother in law spank his son (who is two years older than Zander). Is that how we wanted to punish Zander when he got older? We thought that's just how it was done.

Wrong. SO very wrong!

Yes. We tried the spanking method. I do admit it. Am I proud of it? NO. I'm not. I get knots in my stomach thinking about it to be honest. Sure, it may work for my brother in law and his boy, but it's not something that goes over well with either of my kids! Let me tell you something about my kids. They're sensitive souls. They're full of heart. They're emotional. When they get spanked or even threatened to get spanked, fear washes over their faces and it's a look that would break anyone's heart.

So what do we do? Well, without going into too much detail, the picture above is an accurate example. Time outs and explanations. If either of the kids does something they know they're not supposed to do (like snatching a toy away from someone without asking first) they get sent to the timeout corner. They have to sit quietly for however many minutes myself or Daddy deems appropriate. The longer they ask when they can get up, the longer they sit. Once time is up, they then have to come and sit quietly with me or Daddy so we can explain why they got sent to time out.

The explanation method has really worked with Zander because he's a "why" kid. He's a learner and wants reasons for everything. If he doesn't understand exactly why he got punished, he's just going to do it again. This was something we learned over the last 3 years. Trial and error, y'all.... trial and error.

Ainsley is still young. We send her to time out as well, but mostly she comes out on her own. We do explain what she's done isn't right. Both kids do apologize for what they've done wrong. Zander has gotten really good about apologies. When he interrupts adults talking & I have him say sorry he says, "I'm sorry for interrupting you while you were talking." My kids are awesome, y'all!

What discipline methods work for you and your family? Please link up and share your thoughts! We'd love to see what y'all have to say!

And in case you missed it, here's the upcoming topics for the Mamas Tell All Linkup!

April 15: Kids Say the Darndest Things – the crazy things that come out of our kids’ mouths
April 22: Saying Goodbye to Diapers – tips and tricks or just stories about the potty-training process
April 29: The Man Behind the Mama – talking about husbands, boyfriends, etc. 
May 6: Fighting the Green-Eyed Monster - talking about how all mamas sometimes get jealous of others 
May 13: Dating my Daughter/Son – spending special time on “dates” with our kids 
May 20: Last Year We Bought a Zoo (or Not) – a discussion on pets in the family - do you have any? why or why not?

Be sure to grab the button and link up with us! 

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When Hiding in the Bathroom to Eat is Normal

Moms out there reading this, let's talk about something close to home for all of us. Hiding something that you're eating. We're all guilty of this. We've all done it. And, if you're shaking your head reading this saying, "nope, Never done that. I don't have to hide anything from the kids.", well to that I say you need some cheat snacks in your pantry!

Let's be honest with ourselves though. I'd say at least 99% of the moms reading would admit "YES! I have to have my hidden stash of *fill in the blank*" For me, it's york peppermint patties. I just love them. And I don't even like to share with my husband! Why in the world would I want to share with my kids?

Sure, that sounds rude. I'm sure there's folks (the 1 % that doesn't hide) out there that will say, "why even have them in the house at all?" Well, Mamas have to have a cheat day. Mamas have to have their go to snack treat that puts them into mommy heaven! Can I get an Amen?? I think it's safe to say that most moms will usually snack on their treats when the kids are in bed. But what about those hard days when nothing is going just right and you just have to have that fix of chocolate? How do you keep from your kids begging for the sweets too?

I have absolutely been known to hide in my bathroom. For the most part my kids still follow me in there. (When can I get privacy while I pee again?). Occasionally however, I can insist that they do not need to be in there with me. I insist that they go play and I promise to build them a couch fort for listening extra well!

When I know I can get away with sneaking a bite I definitely do that in the kitchen. I have loud kids. A two year old and a five year old play loudly. This goes to my benefit in that I can open a wrapper of something without them hearing me. I'll open quickly, sneak a big bite and run out of the kitchen. Sometimes I get busted with this though when Zander asks me a question and I have to purse my lips shut and hold up one finger as if to say "one second". He's a smart 5 year old. He knows not to talk with your mouth full, and he always knows my "one second" finger means I have food in my mouth. He always ALWAYS asks, "what's in your mouth mommy?" Thankfully, I can still get away with saying, "nothing". I'm sure it won't last long though!

I'm not ashamed of hiding from the kids though. I'm 95% sure my mom probably hid stuff from me and my sister. I'm fairly sure she hides from my little brothers now. Moms, you have to indulge sometimes. Moms for sure need a break! Sometimes that break and that indulgence comes in the form of an impromptu game of hide and seek. (True story: you hide, they will come looking for you!)

It's a little more difficult to hide something like these though! 

What have you done to hide food from the kids? Do you hide in the bathroom? The closet?
Link up with us and share some of your favorite Mama hiding places. What's your favorite cheat snack?

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It's Back! Mamas Tell All Announcement!

I am so, so, so, excited today because I am announcing that Mamas Tell All is BACK! We had a blast last time we did this, and we are hoping it is even more fun this time!

 

For those of you who weren't around for the last round, Mamas Tell All is a link up series with Christine, Brittany, Ashley, and announcing ME as the newest co-host! The point of this series is for moms to talk about the real stuff that we deal with and our thoughts on different parenthood subjects. 

You can join in for all the topics, or just one, or however many you want! Just write a post and link it up in the week after our posts on the topic are posted. We recommend that you follow all the co-hosts so you never miss any of the posts on the different topics! We really want these posts to start conversations and give moms an outlet to tell it like it is!

 Here is the schedule for this round of Mamas Tell All: 

April 1: Hiding in the Bathroom with Food – the weird things we do to get some time alone (or eat our favorite foods)

April 8: To Spank or Not to Spank – a discussion on discipline: when to start, how to implement, and how does it change as kids get older

April 15: Kids Say the Darndest Things – the crazy things that come out of our kids’ mouths

April 22: Saying Goodbye to Diapers – tips and tricks or just stories about the potty-training process

April 29: The Man Behind the Mama – talking about husbands, boyfriends, etc.

May 6: Fighting the Green-Eyed Monster - talking about how all mamas sometimes get jealous of others

May 13: Dating my Daughter/Son – spending special time on “dates” with our kids

May 20: Last Year We Bought a Zoo (or Not) – a discussion on pets in the family - do you have any? why or why not?

 We really hope you'll join us over the next eight weeks...we are really excited to see what you all have to say!