Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Fight The Green Eyed Monster!

Y'all, I'm not gonna lie. This post has been difficult for me to start. This week's Mamas Tell All topic is all about fighting the green eyed monster of jealousy. Jealousy is difficult to talk about. It exists. It's real. And to be honest if you claim to never felt jealousy toward anyone or anything, well then you're a big fat liar. #SorryNotSorry.

Mamas Tell All: A Weekly Linkup

Mom jealousy is a real thing. It may not be presented in a form that's totally obvious, but it's there. I'm totally guilty of this.

After Zander was born, I was having lunch with another new mom. She was talking about her child sleeping several hours at a time at night. Zander was not. I immediately felt the twinge of jealousy: "Ugh. Why isn't my son sleeping like that? They're practically the same age!" Instead of just saying how awesome that was and moving on, I couldn't let it go. I had to one-up her child sleeping. (I'm definitely not proud of this, y'all). "Zander is very close to rolling over." I bragged. Deep down, I knew I said it just to make her feel jealous.

It's stupid, y'all.

I saw this on facebook yesterday, and I kind of thought it was perfect to go with this post today:

So why do we do it? Why do we feel the need to feel like we're less of a mom just because someone else's kid can hit a baseball and mine can't? What do we do to end the cycle?

I can tell you what I've been doing. Praise them! The urge to one-up the other mom will probably be there. I feel like that might just be human nature. Fight that urge and praise the other mom for whatever they shared. She got a fancy new job or a promotion? Congradulate her with the utmost sincerity! Be genuine. Don't just say it because it's the right thing to do. Trust me here. Think about the last time you were really happy for someone. When you got a chance to praise them and tell them how happy you were for them. That made you feel pretty amazing, didn't it? It's the same thing. SURE, you may want the new house, new car, whatever. But secretly wishing that was you.... the jealousy... it's not helping anyone.

I kind of feel like to "fight the green-eyed monster" is to really act like a lady. Empower other women. Lift them up. This will catch on, and I can almost promise that as soon as you start lifting up other women, they will in turn lift you up as well.

How do you fight jealousy?
Linkup with us and share!
The Rambling Llama

Next week on Mamas Tell All:
May 13: Dating my Daughter/Son – spending special time on “dates” with our kids 
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39 comments :

  1. Jealousy is definitely not just for moms! I don't know why we do it, but women especially seem to feel the need to "one up" each other. We all do. We all have our insecurities! But I love what you said... Empower each other! That's the best way to fight anything. Great post!

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  2. Yes! It's everywhere and it's ugly. I'm glad you liked this one! I hope more women start to empower one another and lift each other up!

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  3. Yes yes yes to that quote! Perfect!

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  4. I'm not a parent but I think this is great that you posted this. My sister is always telling me the things her mom friends say and I feel like its is constant contest.

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  5. Sadly it took me having number two being over 2 years old before I realized that. But yes. It's a horrible contest. I hope as time goes on women start empowering each other more and stop competing.

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  6. I thought so!! A friend shared it last night and I thought "prefect!!"

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  7. I think this is so great that you openly admit to caving and saying something you shouldn't have, because we all do that now and again, and may as well admit it. Your advice is perfect though - I'm all about trying to lift up rather than tear down. It is easier said than done, but so important to keep trying for!

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  8. Amen to that! The best things to do in life aren't always the easiest. Lifting others up always makes you feel so much better though!! Thanks for the kind words, friend!

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  9. I love this Melissa! Yes, jealousy is a dangerous road to head down, but it's so easy to do as moms! My "jealousy" issue since having Jude has been my body. Ugh...it needs work! And I find myself comparing my body to other ladies who've just had babies. It's hard not to do. But I love what you said about "lifting them up!!" Definitely going to work on that.

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  10. Jealousy is an ugly thing. I will never understand why moms will do anything to compare their child to yours or even degrade you as a parent. Still bothers me that moms out there do that.

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  11. Yeah girl! I think when we choose to have a genuine interest in someone's story, it helps with any jealousy that may have been there. Every person's story is going to be different.. I agree with you- why not celebrate, embrace, and encourage that?! XO!

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  12. I KNEW you'd agree with this! This is why I love the blogging community. It's so full of women lifting each other up and helping. The world needs more bloggers! HAHA. Thanks for the love, lady!

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  13. agreed! it's really ugly. I'm ashamed to have been "that" woman... but it's like you said the other day... people change. ;)

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  14. thanks sooo much, friend! It really is easy, but what I've found is the more you encourage and lift up, the easier it is to be a better person! I love your soul, friend! You're an amazing mama and you're GORGEOUS. I'm impressed with all of your decisions and parenting skills. you rock, and don't forget that!

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  15. I LOVE when I meet polite children who use their manners! I always make it a point to praise the parents for how polite they are. :)

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  16. I saw this title on your twitter feed and I was so curious what was the green eyed monster. It all makes so much sense. I praise you for offering grace and encouragement to other moms.
    Xoxox
    Gema from belovedgems.org

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  17. Me too amber! It's a true reflection on amazing parenting!!

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  18. Lol it wasn't easy to write about but I'm glasd you liked it!!

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  19. Abundant JourneysMay 7, 2015 at 4:59 PM

    I hate it when jealously rears it's ugly head, then I try to focus on the positive to get my mind back in order.

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  20. That quote is just soooooo spot on. Perfect

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  21. Yayyyy I love this!!! Ooooh I've totally been there.
    I think as I get older though I'm able to see through the picture perfect family fb posts and I love our dysfunctional crazy dirty life. It's more interesting and fun than picture perfect. So I think I've mellowed the green monster out Hahahah

    Totally been distracted and unable to mama link up!! Eeekkkk gotta get back to it :)))great post momma

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  22. I think this is a great topic and perfect reminder for all of us mommies. It can be hard to fight sometimes.


    Tif
    www.brightonabudget.com

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  23. I'll have to keep this in mind in the future.

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  24. i am so glad you talk about lifting each other up and empowering one another! i'm all about that too, even though i'm not a mom. how much stronger will we be as women if we focus on that instead of comparing and trying to one-up (i'm obviously still working on this too!)

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  25. Thanks, Rowan! :) I'm glad you liked it. I saw and it and knew it had to be apart of the post. it was almost inspiration for my writing this week cause I had NO clue how to start. haha

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  26. YES our life is messy, crazy, and wild and I wouldn't have it any other way. It has taken some time and many years for me, but I'm finally in a happy place where I can keep the monster at bay. :) We'd love to have you join the next two weeks if you could!!

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  27. soo hard sometimes. glad you liked the topic though. :) thanks for stopping by

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  28. Keep it in mind now! This isn't just for mommies! lift up and encourage everyone! :)

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  29. thanks so much friend. I kind of had a feeling you'd love this. lol. it's a definite work in progress for I think a lot of women. but the fact that you're working toward it is amazing! you are truly an inspiration to me!

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  30. absolutely!! I can totally see that being a thing with pet parents. Pets are kids too after all!

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  31. yessssssssssss to lifting eachother up! I try to channel my jealousy into excitement for that other person. obviously I don't have any babies, but you know... haha

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  32. Bahaha I do know!! You don't need babies to lift up other women though!! I love your excitement!!

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  33. I love this advice. A lot of the time when I feel jealous I try to just push it down or aside. Thank you for the active advice - "Empower other women. Lift them up."

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  34. You are so awesome! Thank you so much for sharing - it's 100% true that we are all plagued by jealousy at times. Changing your response to that jealousy seems like the perfect way to make sure you handle it in a healthy manner.

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  35. thanks so much! :) I'm glad to help any way I can!

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  36. thanks so much, friend! :) it was something I was thinking about before I even wrote it... just not sure how to get it into words. glad it kind of came out OK lol

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  37. This is a great reminder even if you're not a mom...jealousy is real and we should celebrate one another instead!

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  38. Amen to that!! A great reminder for everyone no matter what!! Xoxo

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