Starting Over After Divorce

It's no secret, any sort of life altering change can leave a person feeling completely turned around. Lost even. Unsure how to start over. Unsure where to go next.

Let me be the first to tell you, starting over is sometimes the greatest thing ever.

It's no secret that my "do-over" has been a result of divorce. I celebrate that the divorce actually happened. I'm sorry if I sound like a broken record, but I'm finally getting back into my groove. Or trying to at least. It's taken a lot of figuring out, and this may not work for everyone... but then again, hopefully not everyone is getting divorced this year.

Find out who you are.
Whoa. Did I ever need this one. This is the first time ever, in my whole life that I have lived alone. I've always had either my parents, my ex, or roommates. Now it's just me. I've had to really think about if the shows I used to watch with my ex were really my favorite shows. Do I really like to listen to a certain type of music, or was it just because I couldn't have my own opinion? For me, I learned I really do love to knit. There were shows and movies I had never seen before that I have fallen in love with.

I've found a new love for the library. Did you know you can check out entire seasons of shows at the library and binge for a whole week on things you haven't seen before? Yeah! I'm finally starting to adjust to living alone. (And no, there are no cats involved.) Yet.

Find out who your friends are. 
This may be in the form of a nice bottle of moscatto... whatever, no judgment here... But seriously though,
This may seem a little silly, but for me it really hit hard. Some of the people you had as mutual friends in the marriage turn out to not really be your friends. You need people who will raise you up, and, like in my case want to send hate mail to your ex. Do not be afraid to talk about how you're feeling with your friends.

I can't tell you how many times I texted Amanda and my boyfriend how insecure I have felt about everything. (Am I the common denominator about everything bad happening?) Turns out, no, I'm not... my ex is just toxic and that kind of thinking is a result of a toxic relationship. (Have some more wine). Talking about anything with your friends throughout the day can make you feel more normal than you realize. I'm thankful that my little circle has kept me so grounded. (To my blogging tribe, I'm so sorry I have been so distant.)

Real friends will be the ones to encourage you to get back into your old routines that they knew you were a constant in your life no matter the situation. Cooking for yourself, working out, etc.

however...

Old Routines may take time. 
Once I moved into my own place, I didn't want to cook for a long time. I would rely on leftovers from when I would cook or I would just eat out. Don't feel like you really need to rush anything. I haven't worked out in MONTHS. I just now got back into it, and it took me not being able to fit into my bridesmaid dress (for my sister's wedding in Oct) that I have to get back into it. I tried a few times but my heart wasn't in it. I just wanted to sit and watch TV. (Hi, not a great idea when you're eating out and not cooking every night)

Don't beat yourself up about not getting back into old routines immediately though. This goes back to figuring out who you are. I cried about cooking for myself some nights because it was just ME. I cried about not having anyone to serve a dinner for. My solution? I invite friends over. I cook for friends. Mostly my Marcus, but a friend is better than just alone.

Just Don't beat yourself up. (Period). 
This may be the silliest advice, but I swear it really is the truth. This is the new reality. You have your own place (saying to myself). All beating yourself up does is make you feel worse about everything. It brings you down. Find something positive about the day and grasp onto it. I promise, it helps. It may be hard to find in the first few months, but it does help! Smile, it helps.

Keep moving forward. 
This isn't the end of the world. A new chapter, a change, a new life event. It's not the end of everything. It's a chance to grow and adapt and change. Drink that bottle of wine. Sing karaoke. Dance in the rain with your kids. Do what makes you happy, and don't let anyone make you feel bad for it.

Oh... and get you an amazing boyfriend that will randomly send you a "cheer up" package that includes your favorite things... including amazing prints such as this.

I kind of love the face that he knew nothing about blogging before having me in his life and now, I'm officially his llama.

What major life change have you bounced back from? How did you adapt? What advice would you share?

Check out This Month's Daddy Llama

Things I Don't Understand

OK. So I think it's safe to say that the internet is a big place. Correct. There are things in these big interwebs that I just don't understand. Given that it's Friday, I feel the need to share with you. So, you're welcome.

|| Mermen hair trends.
Why is this even a thing? I'm a fan of expressing oneself with hair, tattoos, clothes, etc. BUT. I don't get this one. I found this while scrolling facebook the other day. Y'all. Some of these guys have matching beards. I'll let that one sink in for a minute.

Mermen Style 

|| Selfie Sticks.
Technically these are not an internet thing. I still don't get them. I mean... I do, but I don't. My biggest question. HOW do you actually TAKE the picture? I saw this meme on facebook Wednesday night. This got me asking the previous question. Now, inquiring minds want to know.

|| Hot Dog Pizzas. 
Y'all. This is a thing. Like, we should all know by now that I'm a huge fan of pizza. Give me all the pizza. But, y'all. Why did they have to put hot dogs on the crust? This is just a hard no. WHY is this a thing.

|| On Fleek.
This term. Why does it exist and where does it come from? According to Urban Dictionary:

"the quality of being perfect, or on point."

Why can't we just use "on point" anymore? Am I really getting to be that old, y'all? I'm not even 30 yet. Not even close. Well. Almost.

|| Drop That Kitty. 
This song. Y'all. I was first introduced to this at one of the many award shows that take place at the beginning of the year. I thought it was strange then, and for some stupid reason it stuck in my head. You really don't need to listen to the entire song to fully understand the stupidity of the song. But this is on youtube. With over 10 million views. Don't understand.


So what's out there that you don't understand? Anything I've left out that needs to be here immediately.
Happy Friday, Llama friends! xoxo

Happy Birthday, The Rambling Llama!

A year ago today, I hit that scary little orange publish button.
To be fair, I did have a previous blog but thanks to Google completely deleting it, there is no record of it ever existing. So even though TECHNICALLY I started blogging in April (?) It's The Rambling Llama's birthday!!! My first post is here. When Amanda and I tried to have a #TBT link up. Sheesh... that was rough. No one ever wanted to come play with us on Thursdays. She was Peaches in Missouri at that point. Wow. So much has changed.
Well... maybe not THAT much... because this is still true:

I'm not really sure if I knew I'd be where I am now when I started blogging. I started because Amanda said "hey your funny kid stories would make a great blog". She pushed me a lot to start one. She finally had to help me. You have her to thank for me being here now. I'm really not sure where I'll be this time next year. Hopefully with more followers, if not... oh well...

What I do know is this: 

|| I really enjoy blogging. I've found this to be a really enjoyable hobby. I can get random thoughts out. Share things I never dreamed of sharing with the world. The possibilities are endless.

|| I didn't plan on having my amazing tribe. These ladies are seriously the best. Our bloggy pow wows are something I look forward to each month.

|| It's OKAY to break the "blogging rules". Don't do this for the rules. Do this because it's something you enjoy.

|| I'm not a fashion blogger. I cannot throw together cute outfits, photograph them, and display them for the world to see. As much as I love cute clothes, I can't pull this off. Except for when I'm given free clothes and forced to take pictures. And that's ok.

|| Meeting strangers you've met online in person at blogger functions is a lot less scary after you've talked to them for over a year.

|| Those "strangers" you've grown close to will ensure that no matter where you go in the world, you will almost always have someone to meetup with, talk "shop" and have fun.

|| Gifs can make or break your post. Sure, they're fun and entertaining, but choose your gifs wisely, friends. Kasey does this wonderfully!

|| Oversharing excites people. When I feel like I hit publish on something that is really hard for me to share, y'all EAT THAT STUFF UP! lol!!

I'm not typical

|| Blogging is a perfectly acceptable way to list random things out. Who doesn't love a great list?

|| If you disappear for an entire month without any notice, people you've never met in real life will worry about you.

I've learned a lot from blogging. I've learned a lot about community, empowering other people, and what real friendship and real prayer is all about. I've also learned a lot about myself. I almost feel like finding this hobby has made me a better person.

It's also totally OK to go through old blog posts and use pictures that some new readers may not have ever seen. Like I've done today. So there's that.

Happy Friday, y'all! Thanks for sticking around for a whole year. Here's to many MANY more! Don't worry, Cassie, I won't quit on you, yet. ;)

FINALLY!! Don't forget! To celebrate, This week Emelia, Kerri, and I have teamed up with some amazing ladies to give YOU a gift for our blogiversaries! We're giving away $240 CASH! Time's running out to enter! You don't want to miss out on this. I'm super thrilled that I have these ladies in my life!

Your June Blogiversary Host Ladies: Emelia, Kerri & Melissa

The Party People & Awesome Co-Hosts: 

Niki, Becca, Anne, Kati 

The Gals- B&M, Rebekah, Lisa, Julia, Hope

Lindsay, Kate, Linda, Alex, Rachael

Meagan, Kristin, Erica, Kelly, Rebecca 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

"Four Things". But Really SO Much More.

Y'all, you know what makes me super happy? You. My readers. Most of the time when I write something it's just to share with myself. If that makes sense. Those posts I'm really trying to get pageviews, and yet they still come. Which means y'all like me! Y'all really, really like me. For that I'm so thankful. I've also noticed an increase of page views in general as well as a lot of new faces in my comments!

For that reason, I'm glad Jasmine over at Classy, Sassy, and a bit Smartassy tagged me in this Four post. This gives me a great way to share a bunch of randomness with my new readers! Also, much like one of my other favorite bloggers, Kasey from Kasey at the Bat, I'm a rule breaker and an over-sharer so you're more than likely to get more than four things.

Four names people call you:
Well, my name is Melissa (obviously!) haha
|| Mel / Melly / Missy : this is by close friends and my sister
|| Mommy : by my children, duh
|| Llama : by the blogging community. I've learned that I am "Llama" in several peoples' phones!
|| Goober : by my husband because, well, I am. haha

Four jobs I've had:

But really, job interviews suck... 

|| Kroger.
I started as a bag girl and eventually became cashier. This was also where I met Amanda. This was my first job and not the greatest.
|| Titlemax.
Yes. I pawned peoples' car titles. Don't judge me. This was the first "office" job I ever had. There were parts about it that I really loved and parts that I hate, but it taught me a lot about life. Esp the difference in pawns and loans. Just don't do it, y'all. Don't. Like, ever!
|| Enterprise Rent A Car.
While I was pregnant with Zander I washed cars and got them ready for people to rent. No it was not glamorous and yes it was exhausting, but it helped pay bills. Also, I don't have a college degree so this was the only job I could legally do at Enterprise. I got yelled at a lot by people renting cars because I was basically 9 months pregnant and deep cleaning every car this particular Enterprise in Roswell, GA had. Including 15 passenger vans. My boss just told them, "look she applied for this. She knew that she'd be doing. I can't deny her work just because she's pregnant". After 6 months of unemployment after Titlemax this guy was also the only one that would hire me knowing I was pregnant. Props to you, Wolffe!
|| World Technology Ingredients. 
I've worked in several manufacturing plants, all in the customer service role. This was my favorite in that it was literally like family. It was my most recent job before staying home full time. I miss it, but they taught me a lot!

Four movies I would/have watched more than once:
|| Sixteen Candles. This one never gets old. Like ever. The Breakfast Club either for that matter.

|| Pitch Perfect. Because who doesn't love a good movie jam-packed full of amazing songs, dancing, and hot chicks using aca for entirely too much? LOL

|| Pirates of the Caribbean. No explanation needed.

|| Rio / Rio 2. I have kids. Kids get hooked on movies. I've also seen Frozen and Big Hero 6 more than I care to admit.

Four books I would recommend:
|| Speak : Laurie Halse Anderson. I've mentioned this to a few bloggy friends. Now all of y'all. It's powerful. It's heartbreaking. Read it.
|| Blue Bloods series : Melissa De La Cruz. A twist on vampires. I loved all of these books
|| The Bean Trees : Barbara Kingsolver
|| Harry Potter : JK Rowling. But honestly if you haven't already read the series then we can't be friends. Sorry not sorry.

Four places I have lived:
There's more cities than just this. Current location not included.
|| Chamblee, GA
|| Buford, GA
|| Lawrenceville, GA
|| Cumming, GA Basically... I've lived in Georgia

Four places I've visited:
|| St. Thomas, USVI. Amazing. Go there!
|| Milwaukee, WI. 
|| Middlesex, NJ
|| Philadelphia, PA.
Plus, reasons why you need to see St Thomas, Chicago's aquarium and Philly's Zoo.

Four places I'd rather be right now:
|| Brisbane, Australia. My cousin lives there, so basically free place to sleep!
|| Anywhere in France
|| Puerto Rico. My father in law was born here. I'm dying to go here with my husband and kids!
|| Just give me a beach with white sands!

Four of my favorite foods:
|| Pizza. the end. the only toppings not allowed are anchovies and pineapple.
|| Ice cream. Don't you dare tell me this doesn't count as breakfast.
|| Chili. One of the best parts about Halloween? Chili cook offs! YUMMY!
|| Pizza. Because well, Meagan will agree with me here. It deserves to be on here twice. So there.


Four T.V shows I watch:
|| Big Bang Theory. True story: my husband gave me a T-shirt with "Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, spock" on it. This was probably the one gift I was excited about most when it came to my birthday. Sheldon gifs can be found on this blog frequently.
|| Once Upon a Time. I just love this show. So much that I started watching during season 4 last fall, fell in love and hubs and I binged to get caught up to watch new episodes now.
|| Last Man on Earth. Something about this show is just so dumb that it's hilarious. I can't put my finger on it. I just like it.
|| Castle. This was another one hubs and I binged on to get caught up for the newest season currently on.
bonus points: We will soon be binging on Elementary.

Four things I'm looking forward to this year (2015):
|| Finishing my fifteen in 2015. Honestly, I haven't touched a single thing from it. Better get on that, huh? Here's to summer activities!
|| Having Ainsley potty trained. We're slowly but surely getting there. It's a slow process, but hey.
|| Wedding attending in Sept. Josh's brother that's 11 months younger than him is getting married! I cannot wait for this big party!
|| Thoughts of starting school. That's right folks... I've been toying around with the idea of getting a degree. But I also don't want to rush into things & take away from the kids.

Four things I'm always saying:
|| Shut up. This is usually accompanied by me slapping the arm of whomever is sitting next to me. When something shocking occurs, this comes out of my mouth
|| We don't hit in this house! I'm alarmed by the amount that I have to say this to my youngest. Apparently Ainsley is trying to assert her dominance in the relationship of her and Zander. This is apparently happening by her pushing Zander around. Kids.
|| Can someone help me clean? Is this too hard for family to do? I mean come on, y'all. I can't be the only one that begs for help.
|| Babe, what's for dinner? (sarcastically). I always ask him this. I try to get out of cooking every night. Josh doesn't cook so me asking this is usually hopes of getting him to order pizza.

And now that I've made this the longest blog post everrrr. I need to tag four ladies.
Four ladies I tag:
|| Amanda // Knock on Wood. Just cause you're my bestie.
|| Kendra // Kenj is Here. My current Daddy Llama Sponsor. I love this gal.
|| Lora // Heart of Life. This girl inspires me with her dedication to getting fit. For that, you're tagged.
|| Emelia // Dream Big & Buy the Shoes. Because who doesn't love a great pair of shoes?

So thanks again, Jasmine. Love you, girlie. I hope y'all learned something new!

Rambles from The Llama

Turn back while you can... 

So... being the bad blogger that I am, I did not plan well. I had every intention of posting a Golden Vlog today. That didn't work because for whatever reason after filming three times. Yes, you read that correctly... THREE TIMES... the sound wasn't working on my webcam. The first half of my video(s) could be heard, but after question 5 everything faded into the abyss. I really have no clue what happened. But, I highly suggest heading over to the co-hosts pages and check out the other awesome videos! (I'll wait).

When the vlog didn't work for me, plan B was to link up with Kenji for her workout Wednesday. Mamas Tell All is on Wednesdays, so Kenji already expected a late post from me if I linked up. Sad news about that, I couldn't think of a damn thing to say about my working out. Nothing I felt like y'all wanted to read anyway.

So obviously instead of y'all not wanting to read rambles about me working out. You're going to not want to read rambles about literally everything else. I've gotta keep up with my blog name. Right? Right.

|| I'm panicking a lot. Pre-K has graduations. Graduations, y'all with caps and gowns and everything. On May 6 my OLDEST KID graduates PRE-K! When did this happen and how do I make it stop?

Make it stop! 
|| Something closer than May 6 is April 21. This is Zander's first real eye doctor appointment. When we went to his 5 year old well check back in February, the doctor and nurses said his vision was less than perfect. This wasn't much of a surprise considering I'm a four-eyes myself. BUT I didn't really think my kids would need eye doctor appointments as early as FIVE YEARS OLD. Sheesh. We'll know something then, and of course I'll fill y'all in.

|| Gardening Tips. I need them. I need to save money at the store and just grow my own food. I have the perfect area in my back yard for gardening. I can keep the flowers up front. I just really have no clue where to start.

|| Along the lines of saving money. Who knows anything about chickens? I legit have a HUGE chicken coop in my backyard too. I've been toying with the idea of getting chickens to have fresh eggs. Am I completely losing my mind here? Who knows how expensive or difficult it would be to raise chickens? (And would the dog leave them alone?)

|| I've been really bad at blogging this week. I feel like anyways. But I'm not sorry about it because I've had lots of time with my kids. Zander is on spring break, and it's been wonderful. Except maybe for yesterday when we had a bit of a meltdown. I think that was like a global kid meltdown day or something though because Faith's kids that she nanny's were hellish too. Per snapchat. But I promise to do better next week!

|| I'm not even a little bit sorry for the amount of Llama gifs that I have in this post.
So that's what's on my mind lately. Tomorrow one of my besties is picking up me and the kids to go play at her house. I'm just a lot excited. So Brandi... if you're reading this, even though we'll text a million times during the day... I might be counting down the hours! haha. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. As Kerri says, Fri-Yay!
last one I promise!