Thursday, October 16, 2014

Being A Working Mom

Working mom or stay at home mom? I'm sure all moms can agree that both jobs are equally tough. I like to think that both types of moms tend to envy the other? I admit that I do. I totally wish I was a stay at home mom to be able to spend time with my kids. But you know what? When I was out of work, I really missed being in an office interacting with adults. Jenny from Dancin' With A Dolly made a really valid point last week when she wrote about ending the mommy wars.  Just take a moment to read that little gem!

So how do I make the role of "working mom" work for my family?
 
Linking up with Christine, Brittany, and Ashley for Mama Tells All
Mamas Tell All

I can tell you right now, it's not easy being a working mom. Let me go ahead and say while we're here though: I am NOT saying that stay at home moms have it easy! I know their job is just as tough!

I've been a working mom ever since Zander was born. At the time, Josh wasn't making nearly enough for us to justify being a one income family. I started my maternity leave the day before Zander was born (he was induced a day before my due date) and I went back to work after I got the OK from my doctor at the 6 week checkup. My brother in law watched Zander for 18 months before he went to work himself. Talk about a huge saving that was!

With Ainsley it was the same way. I worked until she was born. Had 6 weeks of maternity leave, then back to work once I got the "all clear".

For us we've never really had to "make it work". It's just been our norm. Sure some days are stressful. Like if a kid gets sick. Then we usually turn to the "who has more paid days available to use?" when figuring out who gets to stay home with the sickly one.

The hardest part for me being a working mom is being away from my kids. You miss a lot of "firsts" when you're not with the kids all day long. However, the way I look at it to keep myself from getting down about it is reminding myself that yes it was a "first" when they did (fill in the blank for first), but when I see it for the first time, it's a first for me.

The best part about being a working mom? Sure the extra income is a bonus. But I love to see my kids' faces when I pick them up from school and daycare. They're always so excited to see me; When Zander gets called to come to the lobby for pick up he's always smiling, and when Ainsley sees me come through the door, she yells "MOMMMYYYYYY!!!!" and runs to me SO happy. It's the best.

So yeah... I'm a working mom. But it's what I'm used to. It's what works for our family because it's the "norm" for us. Honestly, my kids think it's strange when I'm not at work during the week. They've gotten used to this as the norm as well. It's all about finding balances. You know your own family, and you know your situation. I'm definitely not about to try and convince a stay at home mom that she NEEDS to work. She's a stay at home mom for a reason, just like I'm a working mom for a reason.


I was a day late for the link up this week, but I still wanted to participate because I love the hosts!
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19 comments :

  1. I have lots of friends that are stay at home moms and then I have some that aren't. It's whatever works, unfortunately not everyone can afford to stay home even if they would like to...things are expensive!
    My mom didn't stay home with us either because I was a bit of a surprise baby that came 1 month shy of their 1 year anniversary sooo they weren't prepared for babies yet, but it worked out and I turned out semi normal...

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  2. I totally agree about finding balances! It's so important. Thanks for linking up to Mamas Tell All.

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  3. Yes. Just yes! I do both - work part time and stay at home. And honestly they are both so difficult. I thought that when I was working full time being home would be so "easy". Now? I can't wait to get to work. Funny how perspectives change like that!

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  4. Kimberly KlostermayerFebruary 25, 2015 at 9:20 AM

    It is hard being a mom. Period. I am a Stay at Home mom and yes it is tough but I feel for those that work and are Mommy. I know you all love your kiddos just as much as I love mine! Some days I really miss the adult interaction and of course the paycheck, but I can't honestly say I miss "working" LOL!! Still all moms should support one another, no matter the work status, a Mom is a Mom!!

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  5. Wow Melissa, I would have died if I went back at 6 weeks post partum. I seriously wasn't ready at that time. Girl you are a saint. I saved up a ton of my vacation and sick time so that I got 3 months at home, (paid!!!!) with my baby boy. You are amazing, I would have been a total nutcase hahahaha :)

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  6. Thanks so much for the kind words. I really REALLY wish I had been able to stay on materinity leave longer, but I didn't plan ahead very well and didn't save up. I was lucky to have short term disability so I was on paid materinity leave. you know in GA the the family leave that they have for jobs doesn't always promise pay. ridiculous.

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  7. AMEN to that! I sooo wish I could be home with my kids all day, but then when I am I always think SAHM's are saints for enduring cartoons and crafts all day. lol. I'm definitely not crafty so some days when I'm off I'm not sure what to do with the kids! HELP! We play outside a LOT when it's nice. I TOTALLY agree that moms need to just support moms though! SO TRUE!

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  8. it's so funny how it changes! I'm like that daily. one day I can't stand being at work... the next I'm dying to be here. we're funny indivuals as moms aren't we?

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  9. yeah my mom didn't stay home with us either. Maybe that's why being a working mom came so easily to me. It's what I grew up knowing. who knows. All I know is that this works for us and we still have family time balanced nicely (I think). :D

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  10. M and I have talked a lot about him staying home when we have kids, but I'm terrified after I have my own i won't be able to leave them! But I think being a mom is HARD so maybe working will provide me some "me time" even though I know some moms think that's selfish. Great post girl!

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  11. being a mom is hard! I really think no matter what decision you make, staying at home or working, you'll always question yourself and there will always be doubt. You just have to trust in yourself and pray a LOT that you make the right choice for your family. Me time as a mom isn't selfish AT ALL. it's needed and encouraged and I think a lot of moms that REALLY need it, don't take it for fear of being judged. which is sad because even in a marriage- you still want "me time" at least I do... so why should it change with kids? let's face it... you can only take so much of Disney Channel before you go crazy. haha

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  12. HAHAH OK amen to all of this- so true!!!

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  13. I wish so much to stay home! Or work part time! Or work from home! It's such a hard balance for me giving 100% to other people's kids and then coming home and giving 100% to my own family! It's something we're praying so much about right now, we'll see what doors the Lord opens!

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  14. Such a great point. You can only do what works best for your family.

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  15. exactly! no need to pressure anyone into something that's not right for their family!

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  16. haha! I totally get what you're saying. all day you give so much time and attention to your students and then can't switch it off because it's family time. I'm lucky that I'm in an industry where I don't have to take my work home with me, but I bet it's hard for you! I'll be praying for y'all as well.

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  17. I can't tell you how many times I found myself nodding my head while reading this. I can relate on SO many levels. The discussion about PTO and sick days seems to happen far too often at our house. And that moment when you walk into daycare and my little literally squeals with joy - it just melts my heart. Thank you for offering your wonderful perspective.

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  18. It's been happening a lot more for us lately now that Ainsley is in a real day care. It's hard but somehow we manage to do it, right? lol. Mama survival mode. lol!

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